Dream house, dream life, yeah right. Dream on…

Archive for November, 2013

Glossy Hell

When I die I’m going to Hell (I’ve been informed of this by many people over the years who seem to know.) I now know what Hell will look like. It will be a never ending bathroom with rows of toilets that need painting behind and around the base and shower-bays that need sealing and pipes that have been painted 47 different colours and now need to be sanded back so they can be disguised again. Ever surface will need 4 coats and just as I finish someone will scrape them with a piece of furniture or a mop handle and I’ll have to start again.  Oh and it will be evening and the windows will be open – not that that helps with the smell from the oil paint, and the light will attract everything with wings, all of whom will suicide into the wet paint that is just beyond my reach.
This is my hell. (I just didn’t realise I’d died yet….)

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