Dream house, dream life, yeah right. Dream on…

She’s dead Jim, dead.

Hello you’ve reached your electricity company. For enquiries about  reconnection, disconnection please press 1. For account enquiries please press 2. To report electrical faults please stick finger in socket and we’ll  follow the flashing lights. To speak to  someone with a brain please call a different number.


Hello, thank you  for calling  xxx. How may I help you?

Hi. I have just bought this house from my dead mother’s estate and I need to  change the billing details to my name.

So you want your name on the account?

I want my mother’s name off the account and it in my name since I own the house now.

*give account no*

Are you listed on the account as an authorised contact?

No, I don’t expect to  be on the account as an authorised person – when I rang a few months ago to  tell you  the bill  would be late no one would speak to  me because I wasn’t my dead mother.

*She goes off to  find out about  changing the account over*

Are you  there?


Is [mother’s name] there with  you now?

(Yes but spelling everything out on the Ouija board is making my arms tired so please confine your questions to  yes/no  answers!)
No, she’s dead. (I mean how many clues did you need to  figure that out?)

Oh. One moment please.

A bit later she returns, asks me to  fax through a copy of the death certificate or a notice from the paper and says it will  all be fixed.

Which  is different from the guy who  would not speak to  me  a few months back when I wanted a 2 week extension on an account and advised me to  go  in to  see them with  a letter from  my solicitor, copy of the will etc etc. Apparently it would be illegal for him to  discuss the account with me. I said I didn’t want to  discuss it, just put a note on it that it would be paid in a fortnight. No can do he said. So sorry, not spending $$$ on solicitors fees to  tell you  I don’t get paid till  the end of the month. Feel  free to  spend more money and time sending me overdue notices.


Comments on: "She’s dead Jim, dead." (1)

  1. therealmother said:

    lmao wtf lol

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